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    October 03

    回家

    今日父亲回老家。我送他去火车站。父亲本来想坐六路车,不用倒车,只是上车前下车后都要走一段路。天气闷热,他出门转了一圈买报纸,回来衣服就汗湿了。人一老,怕着凉,穿少了不敢出门,穿多了难免出汗。于是决定打车去。
     
    出门前的饭桌上,父亲说,十二点走,提前两个小时足够了。母亲说,十二点四十走吧。我听了好诧异,母亲向来是急脾气,凡事爱操心,怎么今天这么沉得住气了呢?爸笑说,她是不想让他走。父亲回家参与家族族谱修订,母亲觉得毫无用处,纯粹赔钱受累的活,所以不希望他去。父亲离家多年,乡愁总是不能割舍。退休以后老想做点什么了却乡思,时常对我们说起早年间老家的点点滴滴。只是我们一家人,除了他一个,对那个只在户口本上出现的家乡,都已经毫无感情了。
     
    到了火车站,父亲才想起忘记带水杯,我去车站小卖部买了一个。在候车厅等了一个小时,看完两份报纸,开始检票了。父亲的卧铺在车厢门口,下铺已经坐满了人。他在对面过道小折椅上坐下,惦记着有没有开水可以喝。我说去打一杯,他说算了,他自己去吧,让我下车回去。我顺从地下了车。

    路过车窗,看到在对面窗边,他一个人坐在那里,孤零零的。
     
    晚上给母亲打电话,她明天也要回老家。不过,这个老家比父亲的就近多了,甚至比我周末爬的那些郊区的小山还要近。我其实有一次爬山,是真的路过那个乡镇了,只不过离老家的村子还远。
     
    想来,妈妈的老家我也很久很久没有去过了。她时常挂在嘴边嗔怪我的口头语是“白眼儿狼”,小时候有一段时间,家里住房困难,我就是寄住在妈妈的老家的。
     
    妈妈每年十月过节都要回一次家,而每年那个时候,我也都经常不在家里。妈知道我不爱回老家,也从来不说我什么。可是,每次她回去,我心里都会抱有一点点歉意。
     
    明天,我也是不能陪她回家的。我要去看万里之外的那个小人儿。那个独自一人孤零零地忍受着所有重压的小可怜。

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